Growing up, I experienced trauma and challenges that changed how I related to myself

and the world around me. From a young age I learnt to disconnect from my emotions,

and my body to disassociate from the pain I endured.

I wore a mask, hiding the anger, sadness, and fear that raged within me, all while desperately trying to keep up appearances. I didn’t know how to express my vulnerability, and I certainly didn’t feel safe seeking support or showing the raw, messy parts of myself.

Instead I chose to ignore and bury them deep down inside me. But even though I buried them,

they never disappeared. They were still there in the background quietly shaping how I showed up.

I used alcohol and other substances as a way to escape what I was feeling.

To numb the pain.
The negative thoughts.
The self-judgment that felt constant.

It gave me moments of escapism, but it also kept me disconnected from myself.

At the end of a night out, I would often find myself in tears.

Not fully understanding why.

Not able to put words to what I was feeling, even within myself.

And the next day… the shame would settle in.

This quiet lingering sense that something was wrong…but avoiding it at all costs.

And slowly over time I became used to this cycle. This was how I survived.

Until I reached a point where I just couldn’t keep going on the same way.

I realised that in order to heal I had to face the very parts of myself I’d been hiding or not ready to face. I had to embrace the anger, the imperfections, and all of my fears and the darkness that I had spent so many years running from.

My turning point was stepping into my truth instead of running from it embracing all of me, flaws and all and allowing myself to fully experience and express what had been suppressed for so long.

I discovered that by releasing the need for external validation and allowing myself to feel and express my deepest emotions, I was able to break free from the weight of my emotional trauma and baggage that had constantly held me back and finally step into a life that felt deeply aligned, authentic, and free.

I realised that healing isn’t about becoming someone else who is better or an idealised version of myself, it's about being unapologetically real and allowing my real, raw nature to emerge and be seen.

My journey led me into deeper layers of healing.

Reiki.
Sound.
Breath.
Shadow work.
Emotional awareness.

But more than anything it led me back into my body.

Back to my emotions.
Back into my truth.

Back into myself.